Giving Birth as a Midwife: Tineke’s Story
“Only when Suzanne arrived, I could let go”
What is it like to give birth yourself as a midwife? You guide other women every day through pregnancy and childbirth. So you know a lot, but during your own birth, that’s not necessarily helpful. Tineke, our midwife, also experienced this. She has three children and gave birth to all three at home. At each birth, a colleague was present. She really appreciated that because, as she says herself: “You know so much that you keep thinking too much. Only when Suzanne was there could I completely let go.”
Three Home Births, Three Times with Colleagues
Tineke gave birth to three strong children, two boys and one girl. All three were born at home on the Weesperzijde. The second and third births were attended by colleague Suzanne. The first time, Suzanne’s aunt, also an experienced midwife, was there. And each time, Suzanne’s mother was the maternity nurse. So three births surrounded by very trusted people. Tineke: “Giving birth with your own colleague feels like a sort of VIP treatment. When Suzanne walked in, I thought ‘now everything will be fine.’”
Trust and Letting Go
Tineke and Suzanne had already been working together for a while and knew each other well. Tineke: “Suzanne was exactly as I know her. She really helped me through the birth with her very comforting coaching. I could let go once she was there. Before that, I was overthinking, which is also the hard part when you’re a midwife yourself. But at some point it became so powerful that I couldn’t do anything else but trust the process my body had started. Luckily, I didn’t have to anymore because Suzanne was there. I could fully trust her.”
Flashed on the Way to the Birth
Suzanne still remembers Tineke’s births well. “They went exactly like Tineke is: fast and intense. At the second, the girl, the baby was almost launched. She was smaller than the boys and hadn’t even rotated. She just went through her pelvis in a sort of dive!” Tineke had called Suzanne saying the contractions had started but added, ‘I don’t know if you need to come yet.’ “I already had my clothes on and raced over to her. On the way, I called my mother: ‘You need to come NOW!’ She just didn’t know there was a speed camera; she got flashed at both the 2nd and 3rd births of Tineke. But she was on time.”
The Postpartum Period Was Tough
The births went quickly and powerfully, and Tineke was very happy she could give birth at home, with a colleague supporting her. But the postpartum week was disappointing. “The postpartum period was really tough. You know your body has to recover, but when it comes… Those hormonal changes, the fatigue, and the feeling of ‘am I doing it right?’. Breastfeeding was also tough. You suddenly become a mother, and after those first days when you’re still running on adrenaline, you then feel the exhaustion. Hormonally you really are different as a woman, I noticed that.” Precisely because she experienced this herself, Tineke prepares her clients for it. “You really need to build in rest. Ask for help. And if someone comes to visit the baby, have them bring a casserole or something. Really, you need that.”
Giving Birth as a Midwife, Still Different
Suzanne found it very special to be at her colleague’s births, but the real work, guiding the birth, is just like at any other birth. “When a midwife gives birth, you see it’s still different. They can’t really let go of control and doubt: is it really starting? Am I really this far along? That helicopter view you normally have as a midwife, they don’t have then. That makes them insecure.” At the 3rd birth, Suzanne was extra nervous about arriving on time because the previous birth had gone so fast. “Tineke was impatient. She just wanted to give birth. I said: ‘just wait a bit, take it easy.’ In the end I did a membrane sweep and then things got going quickly. That birth also went smoothly but with a little more control.”
“Giving Birth at Home with a Colleague Was Really Wonderful.”
Tineke looks back very positively on her births. “That I could give birth at home and with my colleague, that was really wonderful and very special. I could really surrender when Suzanne was there. Giving birth is always tough, but if someone talks you through it and guides you exactly the way you know her, that makes all the difference.”
Also Pregnant in Amsterdam-Zuid?
Whether you’re a colleague or a client, with us every woman receives personal guidance during her pregnancy and birth. Would you like to get to know our practice in Amsterdam-Zuid, or do you have questions for one of our midwives? Please contact us, we’d love to meet you.
